Torrente How long will you wait, misery-guts?2635
Why haven’t you acted more decisively
to further your cause?
What are you waiting for? Why delay?
You have the place and opportunity
to plead your case and dissimulate.2640

Cardenio My heart is disposed to die, and not to talk.

Torrente Your silence will be the cause
of all your misfortune.

Cardenio Her virtue and beauty freeze my intentions.
In the end I will perish in silence.2645

Torrente What a foolish lover!

Cardenio Timid, but not foolish.

Torrente You are all talk!

Marcela You are in no fit state.
Walk, if God permits it.2650

Ocaña One by one, two by two—
a great battle has been joined!

Don Silvestre Is there a Don Silvestre here
whose surname is Almendárez?

Cardenio I am he, good sir. What do you want of me?2655

Don Silvestre I kiss your feet sir.
I am a great servant of your father.

Cardenio By all means be courteous, sir,
but not too courteous.

Don Silvestre My father writes that he sends me, through you,2660
ten thousand authenticated pesos,
and my mother sends three thousand.

Torrente I’m pessimistic about your pesos. ⁶¹
The sea swallowed fourteen thousand,
as I am God’s witness.2665

Don Silvestre I say thirteen thousand.

Torrente I say fourteen thousand.

Cardenio It is true sir, I received all that money,
but the sea…

Clavijo There are no ‘buts’ here…2670

Don Silvestre Be quiet! I’ll give my own reply.
He also sent me a portrait of your cousin…

Torrente …swallowed by the ungrateful sea,
without any show of courtesy.
We thought it would grow calm2675
on touching her face,
out of respect and reverence,
but it took such a dim view of her
that it piled one mountainous wave
on top of another,2680
and hid the horizon
and the sun’s golden face.

Marcela The portrait was no relic!

Cardenio No, but had he cast it overboard devotedly,
the sea would have grown calm,2685
and the heavens grateful.

Torrente [aside to Muñ.] None of this is in the inventory
that you gave us, Muñoz,
and if they catch on to our little joke,
our misfortune will be common knowledge.2690

Don Silvestre Do you, sir, have a brother by any chance?

Cardenio Yes señor.

Muñoz [aside] No señor! What a big mistake!
I’m beginning to fear for my life!

Clavijo What is his name?2695

Torrente Don Juan de Almendárez.

Don Silvestre How old is he?

Torrente Whatever age may suit him.

Ocaña [aside] They’re interrogating them
and I don’t know why2700

Don Silvestre Did you drop anchor in Bermuda?

Torrente I’ve already told you what I know
about la Barbuda, that bearded woman.

Don Silvestre It is not ingenuity, but ignorance,
that concocts malicious stories2705
that are so far from being true.
Señor Don Antonio,
I am your true cousin,
and my papers and the portrait
of my señora Marcela2710
are clear evidence
that this man is an imposter.

Muñoz I must confess my sins.
If I don’t die today I’ll kill myself!

Don Silvestre Let me kiss your feet, señora,2715
as your cousin and your husband.

Don Francisco This is an extraordinary case!

Marcela Be courteous, but not too courteous.

Torrente [aside to Car.] For keeping mum for three days,
miserable wretch,2720
you’ll end up flogged and in the galleys,
at the very least.
If only you’d taken advantage of her,
you good-for-nothing,
and hadn’t waited to see yourself2725
in this unhappy state and pilgrim garb.

Don Francisco Who are you?

Cardenio A student.

Torrente And I’m his servant,
crafty rather than stupid.2730

Cardenio Love moved me to attempt this conquest
using an inventory as subterfuge…

Torrente …written by this traitor Muñoz.

Muñoz Heaven help me! I’m done for!

Don Antonio You wretched old man!2735

Ocaña Hear, hear!

Cardenio Her eyes, those superhuman suns,
which cause my woe to wax and wane,
reined in my tongue,
like shackles on my wrists. ⁶² 2740
My eyes saw the light of day in hers,
but my absurdities never went as far
as to annoy her.
If you wish to punish me,
you should first be aware, good sirs,2745
that errors committed in the name of love
are deserving of forgiveness.

Don Antonio As a reward I am prepared to pardon you,
but I should advise you
that the Pope did not wish2750
to grant a dispensation
for my cousin and my sister.

Marcela Marriages between relations
have many inconveniences.

Clavijo Favours smooth the way.2755
I will go to Rome
and bring the dispensation.

Don Silvestre Although I am the true cousin
I do not wish to stay in this house,
nor set foot in it.2760
My cousin’s honour must be unimpeachable,
without students casting aspersions on it,
or dragging it down.

Cristina Will no one ever marry in this house?

Ocaña You will Cristina, if my suit’s agreeable.2765

Cristina I prefer the cut of Quiñones’ cloth.

Quiñones But your intentions do not fit with mine.

Cristina Do you have a reason for not being my lover?

Quiñones Not one but several.

Cristina Ocaña, if you want me, here I am.2770

Ocaña My lineage is not such
that I would choose what a page rejects,
nor should you imagine that I would.

Torrente If I were not fearing the tormentor’s lash
I’d take this cast-off for myself.2775

Cristina Heaven forbid!

Torrente You should remember the handkerchief
and the interlude, you brazen harpy. ⁶³

Marcela With the permission of my brother and cousin
I wish to pass sentence on the servant2780
and the great trickster from the New World.
The hand will be dealt according to my rules:
my cousin must stay in my house,
and he must leave forthwith.
[Exit Cardenio] ⁶⁴
May he bear the weight of his shame on his back,2785
which is the greatest revenge that love can take
on scheming such as this.
I sentence Muñoz to the punishment
that remorse and exile brings.

Muñoz I think it is an angel who condemns me.2790
My soul does not rejoice
at such a merciful sentence,
seeing that I deserved lashes,
if not public humiliation.

Ocaña [aside] Long live the humble and valiant race of footmen,2795
since they don’t resort to treachery
in order to increase their fortune.
Close to the stables
and the smell of its horses
they celebrate their pleasures2800
by raising a glass.

Cristina [aside] I am rejected by Quiñones
and not chosen by Ocaña,
although I don’t have to remain lost,
because I hope to be won.2805
Whoever despairs commits the greatest sin,
and it’s a very true saying
that what will be will be.

Dorotea [aside] I alone am unfortunate.
Fate has been so unkind to me2810
that my spirit has not achieved
what lack of beauty prevents.
I have never been courted,
nor do I know the meaning of love,
but all this, and much more,2815
befits my ill-fortune.

Torrente [aside] My only regret in this disaster
is losing Cristina.

Muñoz [aside] On your way Muñoz, on your way—
poor, without a coat or tailor.2820

[Don Antonio] [aside] Don Antonio exits bitterly
without Marcela. ⁶⁷

Don Silvestre [aside] And I leave without a dispensation.

Cristina [aside] And I unmarried.

Clavijo [aside] Half-satisfied,2825
I’ll follow the footsteps of my friend.

Don Francisco [aside] I second the thoughts of Don Antonio,
whom I follow.

Marcela [aside] I will maintain my integrity,
not seeking the impossible,2830
but things appropriate to our nature.

Ocaña [aside] What happens in this story
is no one marries in the end—
some because they’re not in love
and some because they can’t.2835
I ask you to bear witness
to this well-known truth:
our diversion does not end in marriage!